I wish I knew how to...

There are several things I wish I knew how to do, talents and skills I wish I had. Often, when I see other people do stuff that just blows me away, I get stirred up not only with admiration but also with a teensy-weensy bit of envy (ok, maybe a lot actually hehe). Here’s a skill or talent I look up to in other people. I wish I knew how to...

...play the piano, guitar or the violin. If I can I have my way, I’d love to learn how to play any of these three instruments. I guess it might be too late because my fingers are already as stiff as crowbars. Haha. Good pianists, guitarists and violinists start young right? I tried to learn playing guitar but wasn’t really committed to learning, which is a shame because my two older brothers are adept at playing guitar. If I only I put my heart into it, I might have learned.

Meanwhile, if I only knew piano or the violin, I would have loved to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D or maybe a nocturne by Chopin. Too bad…guess I'd have to satisfy myself just by humming along to the music.

Anyway, the only musical instrument I ever learned to play with a respectable degree of skill is… the bamboo flute. Yes, those ubiquitous flutes you can find in almost every mall. It was a pasalubong from my Mom. I actually mastered most of the songs on the booklet that came with the flute. Even if it has been years since I last played a tune on a flute, I think I can still do it.

It's cool but the only problem is that I can never ever, even if I try with all my heart and soul, sing along while playing the flute. Can I? Haha. So, to anyone who can play the piano, the violin or the guitar well, you’re lucky. It’s cool. :-)

Apple’s new iPod Touch

Apple has just launched its newest iPod model: the iPod Touch. It is essentially an iPhone minus the phone. The new iPod features the same multi-touch technology and revolutionary interface introduced in the iPhone that lets users glide through tracks and albums as well as zoom in on photos with just a flick of a finger on a touchscreen. The iPod Touch also features WiFi connectivity, comes with a built-in Safari web browser and a cool application that lets you watch YouTube videos without a Flash player. A brilliant 3.5 inch widescreen display is perfect for watching videos or flipping through photo albums. However, the iPod Touch will be available only in 8gb and 16gb models.

I apologize if this post sounds like a news item. But since it's only eleventy-one (111) days ‘til Christmas, I think it is my duty to inform all of you and ease your confusion and indecision as to what perfect present you can give to yours truly.

You have four months to save up for this drool-worthy gadget. I have been a good boy, I can assure you that. If you can't find an iPod Touch by then, the new iPod Nano (see photo at left) will do. Thank you very much. Hehe

New Layout for September

As a way to usher in the month of September, the beginning of the so-called '-ber' months, I have updated the look of my blog's layout. It's still the same basic theme - Rounders 3 by Douglas Bowman - but modified as a 3-column layout by Hoctro.

I ditched Snap and FineTune because they could be slowing down the blog's page load time. Anyway, the page is still kinda cluttered, which mirrors my cluttered state of mind. hehe. I have also added a new header image, courtesy of Vladstudio again. I hope you like it. :-)

That's it. I'm half-asleep already. Off to bed. G'night.

Crisis of Faith

I have just finished reading this rather long article about Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith and I must say that it is truly an interesting and enlightening piece. It is also quite humbling to know that even someone like Mother Teresa, considered as the most faithful woman in the world, struggled with her faith for years, experiencing relentless doubt and anxiety even to the point of questioning God’s existence.

For all these years, our mental image of Mother Teresa is this little woman bent with age but always smiling and lovingly taking care of the sick, the dying and the ‘poorest of the poor’. She was hailed as ‘the living saint’. Who knew that behind that was a suffering person in agony because of the ‘darkness’ and ‘loneliness’ in her heart and the ‘absence’ of God in her life. For all her successes and all the worldly accolades given to her, Mother Teresa was lonely and felt forsaken by her God, confessing to her superiors how she suffered from ‘spiritual dryness’ even as late as 1995, two years before her death.

Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love - and now become as the most hated one - the one - You have thrown away as unwanted - unloved. I call, I cling, I want - and there is no One to answer - no One on Whom I can cling - no, No One. - Alone ... Where is my Faith - even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness - My God - how painful is this unknown pain - I have no Faith - I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart - & make me suffer untold agony.


So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them - because of the blasphemy - If there be God - please forgive me - When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven - there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. - I am told God loves me - and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart? - Mother Teresa, addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated

I am humbled because I have also found myself wallowing in my own darkness and loneliness, also questioning God’s providence. And yet I am not really the religious type and I confess I would be aptly described as one of the ‘nominal’ Catholics – only by name, but not in actions or convictions. If Mother Teresa suffered countless years of doubts, anxieties, feelings of abandonment and darkness, I realize my own feelings of worthlessness and loneliness are nothing compared to what she must have felt. Then, who am I to complain and question God whenever I feel down and out, or when things don’t turn out right?

Somehow, it is comforting to know that doubt and anxiety are a natural part of everyone’s life, even that of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. But what is truly inspiring is how Mother Teresa managed to spend more than 50 years of her life dedicated to serving the 'poorest of the poor' in the filthiest and vilest places on Earth. And she did all that while suffering intensely deep within.

She is indeed a Saint.

The Fox becomes a Snail?

Ever since I first used Mozilla Firefox a few years back, I have been a loyal user. I have used other browsers, aside from Internet Explorer, such as Avant and Maxthon but I quickly settled for Firefox as soon as I used it and haven't looked back since. What I like about Firefox is that it loads faster, is much easier to use and customize and is more secure than Internet Explorer.

Until last week, though.

Lately, I have been having problems with Firefox 2 at home. All of a sudden, Firefox has become extremely slow. What normally takes a few seconds to load, such as logging in to Blogger or opening my Gmail account, now takes more than a couple of minutes. I thought maybe my ISP, Smart Bro, is acting up again since I don't have problems with Firefox at the office. But then I used IE7 and Opera 9.23 and the pageload speeds were quite okay, way faster than Firefox's actually.

Unfortunately for me, the sites that load the slowest are the Google sites I frequently use such as Gmail, Google News, Image Search, Blogger, Analytics and others. It sucks that I now have to suffer very slow page loads while using my preferred browser at home.

What's the problem, Firefox? I have already tried uninstall/reinstall. I have also disabled extensions and add-ons including my StumbleUpon and ImageShack toolbars. There isn't any improvement. I guess I need to research further to find out what really caused Firefox's sudden slowdown. Sigh. I may have to settle with Opera for the meantime while I further investigate the fox's apparent transformation to a snail.

Update (8.24.07): Firefox is OK now.

Embarcadero in Legazpi City

Citizens of Legazpi will soon have another prime destination right within the city – the Embarcadero. Formerly called Sunwest Wharf, the Embarcadero is a project of Misibis Land Inc, the developer of Misibis Resorts, Estates and Spas. This wharf development will be located in the Legazpi Port Area near the unique Kapuntukan Hill (also called the Sleeping Lion because of its shape).

The Embarcadero is a waterfront project that is envisioned to be a new world-class destination for local and international tourists with retail areas, restaurants, a civic space and a landmark lighthouse. Embarcadero will be designed by BN Group Pty Ltd, an Australian-based architectural and urban design firm which is also involved with the Suria KLCC Retail Podium in KL, Malaysia and the East Darling Harbour in Sydney.

As its name implies, Embarcadero will not just be a destination in itself but will also be a jump-off point to other destinations within Bicol including Mayon Volcano, Vera Falls in Malinao, Sula Channel, the underground river of Pototan Cave, the giant Manta rays of Ticao Pass, the whalesharks of Donsol , Nag-aso Boiling Lake of Manito, Camarines Sur Watersports Complex and Misibis Resorts, Estates and Spas. The company is already looking for a Marketing Manager for the retail area.

I hope this new development in Legazpi City will be successful and will win the support of Legazpeños and Albayanos. Along with other projects such as the Southern Luzon International Airport in Daraga and the rehabilitation of the mothballed Mayon International Hotel, these developments can further spur tourism here in our province.

Eco-tourism can do wonders to our local economy and will certainly create more jobs and business opportunities. Now that the private sector is doing its part by investing in our own natural wonders, I hope every Albayano will also do their part in making our place more tourist-friendly and progressive.

Sometimes the problem lies not only in the lack of infrastructure or the lack of government funding but also in the cynical attitude of some.

Sadly, many of our kababayans do not give a damn about their own city and province. We need 'pride of place', belief in the beauty of our natural resources and our capability for progress despite whatever problems and disasters. The site of the Embarcadero may not look promising at present, but it takes people with vision and determination to create progress and change. If we work together, nothing is impossible.

A Tale of Two Artists

Whenever I find myself lost in the whirlpool of daily life, I try to tune out from all that noise and frenzy, take a step back and listen to some good ol’ music to soothe my weary soul. When feeling down in the dumps, I sometimes find myself instinctively looking for two particular artists in my playlist: Eva Cassidy and Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. You probably may have never heard of their names before but I am sure that you have heard their music at least once.

These two artists were worlds apart, yet they remarkably share many things in common. Israel, also fondly called IZ, is one of Hawaii’s most beloved musicians. He was literally larger than life: standing at a gigantic six-foot-six and weighing over 700 pounds.


Anyone who saw IZ for the first time, he with a small ukulele in hand, surely would have been awed by this man. Never would they think that within that gargantuan frame lay a gift: a smooth and pure voice.

If you have watched the closing scenes of ’50 First Dates’, waited till the credits rolled in ‘Meet Joe Black’, or watched as Dr. Mark Greene passed away in ‘E.R.’, you have already heard IZ’s voice. ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and ‘What a Wonderful World’ are old classic tunes. Everybody knows them. But IZ gave these two songs his own twist and the result is sublime.

How IZ recorded these songs is legendary. He called up his producer at 2 a.m. saying he wanted to record right at that moment. At the studio, he started with a quick dedication – ‘Kay, this one's for Gabby’- then began gently strumming his ukulele and sang the opening lines of ‘Over the Rainbow’.

Halfway through it, he deftly and seamlessly changes the tune and started singing Louis Armstrong’s ‘What a Wonderful World” then back again to 'Somwehere..'. It is a simple performance but was truly heartfelt. IZ’s version has been described as ‘so sad and poignant, yet full of hope and possibility’.

That was the first and last time he sang those two songs. The record was released and IZ quickly rose to fame. However, it did not last long. IZ died four years later due to a respiratory illness related to his obesity. He was only 38. Hawaii's state flag flew at half staff on the day of his funeral and 10,000 people gathered as is ashes were scattered into the Pacific Ocean.

The other artist is Eva Cassidy. She was a jazz, blues and pop singer from Maryland who lived a fairly simple and quiet life as a singer in Washington DC. She was lavished with accolades, sold over four million copies and was even described as 'one of the greatest voices of her generation’. Sadly, she never saw all of this happen. She died of cancer in 1996. She was only 33.

It was only after her death that recordings of her songs were released. My favorite song by Eva is her rendition of Sting’s ‘Fields of Gold’. It is said that Sting himself was moved to tears when he heard her version. She also sang a mellowed-down version of ‘Time after Time’ which was used in an episode of Smallville.

Remarkably, one of her most famous recordings was of ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’. In September 1996, with her health rapidly deteriorating that she even needed a walker, she did her final performance in front of an audience of friends. She sang ‘What a Wonderful World'.

Eva and IZ: two different artists who lived thousands of miles away from each other. Yet both of them made beautiful music that lived on even if they both have passed away too soon. Both gave their own rendition of the same two songs. Both became even more famous and sold more records posthumously. And both have captured the hearts of millions of music lovers all over the world including mine.

Listen: